Ranking the 26 new sports vying for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics
This week, 26 sports petitioned the IOC for inclusion in the 2020 Summer Games in Tokyo. Because the IOC is not FIFA (at least not now), these sports will theoretically have to make it on their own merits. To help, FTW has ranked each of the 26 applicantsin order of worst to best potential asan Olympic sport.
26. FootballCons: If someone can tell me the difference between karate, judo and taekwondo in 15 seconds or less, I be less hesitant to add another martial art to the Games.
23. WushuWhat is it: Basically gymnastics with sweeping leg kicks.
Pros: Shaolin is one of martial arts used, leading to the possibility of Olympian Ghostface Killah.
What is it: its high flying stunts and high energy atmosphere, wakeboarding was deemed a perfect fit for the ever evolving Olympic Games of the 21st century. [ At the end of the event the athlete with the most points will be the Olympic champion. With tricks like "air raleys," "tootsie rolls," "backside 720’s," and "whirlybirds," wakeboarding is guaranteed to be a fan favorite for the crowds in Rio de Janeiro a city itself with a rapidly growing wakeboarding fan base. Via Alliance Wake
Pros: Tootsie rolls as signifier of athletic dominance.
Cons: Whirlybirds assignifier of athletic dominance. Look, the Winter Olympics had no other choice but to let these fake, judged, crunchy sports into the program. The Summer Games doesn need them.
20. NetballWhat is it: Basketball with four more people on the court.
Pros: None. This sport is idiotic. Just play basketball.
Cons: No backboard, meaning banks would go out of business and we have a financial crisis the likes of which ye haven seen since the great crash of Dance Sport
What is it: Dancing as sport. Try to keep up.
Pros: If this is anything like any of the Step Up movies with the exception of the vastly inferiorStep Up Revolution, then, yeah, I can get on board.
Cons: Oh, it just basically ballroom dancing with a fancier name? You can put lipstick on a Lindy Hopper and she still a Lindy Hopper. Add the and snap and maybe we have something.
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